The New Roof JBN, August 11, 2023October 11, 2023 Alright, pal, come on in and have a seat. Don’t mind the springs in that chair, they probably won’t give you tetanus. This is it, livin’ the dream. Take a big whiff. Smell the must, old paper, and that half-forgotten coffee cup over there with its own ecosystem growing in it. And if you see something rustling under a pile of crap that probably has the Maltese Falcon buried in it, back away slowly and do NOT make any sudden moves! This is the den of the Product Manager, and he’s not in the mood for games, see? He’s grumpy. No, scratch that, he’s more than grumpy. There’s a leak in the ceiling dripping an alien biome into his pot of shrimp-flavored Ramen noodles. His freaking lunch for godssakes. He leans back in his creaky chair, the drip-drop rhythm grinding his nerves. New Roof. The words hang in the air like a curse. Fixing the leak would mean no more added rust flavoring in his noodles, but he only cares when it’s raining, you know? Most days, the roof is just… there. But this is HIS roof, and he’s the one who has to shell out for it. Damn it, there’s nothing fun about a New Roof. As he watches that water drip, drip, drip into his pathetic excuse for lunch, he starts to see it — the reflection of his own life’s grind in those incessant drops. A New Roof. Unseen, unnoticed, but damn essential. Boring as hell, but it’s the backbone of the whole rotten game of Software Development. Updating libraries, patching rushed code, refactoring — it’s a never-ending dance with the devil, the dirty, thankless grind that keeps the leaks at bay and the wolves from the door. You might not see it, you might not care, but it’s always there, eating away at your sprint capacity, gnawing at your roadmap, but without it, everything falls apart. The stakes couldn’t be higher in your little world. So sit down, and listen up— That new roof? Yeah, it means Sales didn’t get their flashy new feature to crow about this Sprint. And maybe they’re looking a bit hangdog about it, their dreams deflated like a busted tire. Can’t say I blame ’em. It’s a tough racket, selling dreams. People buy the “future state,” the gleam in the eye, the promise of what’s to come. It’s the meat and potatoes of their trade to peddle the new thing, that fresh miracle that’s just slid greasy and gleaming out of the extruder. You’ve gotta feel for them, really. In a world of bright promises and shiny tomorrows, they’re left holding the bag, selling yesterday’s news. But that’s the way the dice roll sometimes. You’ve got a roof to fix, and they’ve got a dream to sell. It’s a grim business. And to those poor souls in Customer Support, or Success, or Experience, or whatever the brass is calling it these days, you’ve got a hard message to deliver: “Listen, it’s a raw deal, I know. We didn’t patch up those front-end sores this time ’round. Let those paper cuts fester a bit longer. Why? To make sure the whole blasted roof doesn’t tumble down on all of us.” There’s a weary understanding in their eyes, a grim acceptance of a harsh truth. They’re on the front lines, taking the heat, listening to the gripes and the moans, all the while knowing that sometimes the little wounds gotta bleed. Because in this cruel game, if you don’t take care, if you don’t… MAINTAIN… everything can come crashing down. So you tip your hat to them, those heroes, dealing with the daily grind, the constant barrage, all the while knowing that sometimes, the roof’s just gotta come first. It’s a tough gig, but they shoulder it, day in and day out. The bright side? Don’t make me laugh. But if you need a glimmer in this dark alley of a job, take a gander at the devs. They’ll eye you with something akin to respect, maybe even a shadow of loyalty. They see that you Get It. That you understand the blood, sweat, and tears that go into this miserable code-slinging game. You’ve got their back; you’re in the ring, swinging with brass knuckles and a snarl. That’s currency in this world. They’ll fight for you, break their backs and brains, all because you’re dealing in trust, respect, and loyalty. You’re not just buying it; you’re spending it. Now, button up your coat, straighten your tie, and take this bitter pill of wisdom. Go out there and act like the grown-up you’re pretending to be. The New Roof ain’t about glamor, ain’t about thrills. It’s about grit. It’s the grizzled face of necessity. It’s adulting, as those fresh-faced kids say, with their dreams still intact. It’s Product Management in the raw. It’s slugging through the muck, accountability without a pat on the back. It’s doing the Right Thing with capital letters, even when nobody’s watching, even when nobody cares. Now get out there, and do the job. And don’t expect any thanks. The world doesn’t OWE you a damn thing. Product Noir